Have You Ever

A/N:: Very short, very dark. I like it. It's about Kyp, in case you couldn't tell.

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Have you ever sat with your lightsaber pressed to your temple, contemplating switching it on?

Have you ever goaded an enemy, wishing they would whip out their blaster and shoot you?

Have you ever stood on a tower in a lightning-storm, willing nature to strike you down from your perch?

Have you ever watched a friend's funeral pyre, wondering what it would feel like if you threw yourself onto it?

Have you ever been in a fire-fight, hand hovering over the button to take down your shields?

Have you ever taken a boat out to the centre of a sea, leaned over the side, and considered letting yourself fall into the water?

Have you ever stood atop a building on Coruscant, fingers clutched to the railing, about to launch yourself over across and down?

Have you ever eschewed the lightsaber in favour of a blaster, pressed it to your chest, and nearly pulled the trigger?

Have you ever gone out and drunk more ale than even a Corellian space pirate could survive?

Have you ever taken a razor and slashed it across your own skin, waiting, waiting, waiting to die?

Have you?

I have.